So, you’ve moved into your college home but are having issues with your new roommates. What do you do?
We’ve all been there. Living with roommates, whether they’re your close friends or strangers, isn’t always easy. The reality is, that sharing your personal space with others is hard and takes patience and compromise. Having conflicts with roommates is tough, but there are some things you can do to avoid messy situations and handle these problems efficiently. Here are a few tips for resolving conflicts with roommates:
Set Rules from the Get-Go
Set aside time within the first week of moving in to meet with your roommates and discuss house rules. No one can read your mind, so don’t expect your roommates to know your expectations! Set boundaries from the start so that everyone understands what you are and are not comfortable with.
This is also a great opportunity to decide how bills will be split, chores will be done, whether ‘quiet hours’ should be implemented, and so on. Making your expectations clear from the beginning will save you awkward convos later on.
Be Direct (Respectfully)
If you have an issue with a roommate, speak with them directly. Respectfully express your concerns and find a solution that suits both parties. If you have a problem with someone, be honest with them so they are aware of the issue. Otherwise, they may be completely unaware of how you’re feeling.
Additionally, it’s best to talk face-to-face with the person, rather than leaving a passive-aggressive note or dragging other roommates into the situation. Keep it small and bring the issue up promptly with them.
Avoid the Blame Game
Arguing over who’s to blame won’t get anyone anywhere – and it doesn’t make for a friendly home environment. Learn to think before speaking and to consider others’ situations before bringing up a problem with them.
Politely request a private conversation and calmly express your concerns. Although you may not be directly responsible for an issue, it is best to avoid blaming another person directly.
Instead of saying “You did this” or “You don’t do that”, try beginning your sentences with “i”. For example, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been taking the trash out. Can we work out a way to make sure everyone gets their chores done?” or “I wake up early in the mornings, would you mind turning down the TV after 11 pm so I can sleep?” These are ways to confront the issue without coming off as aggressive or rude.
Be Willing to Compromise
More likely than not, you and your roommates will not agree on everything. Learn to compromise to ensure everyone’s comfort. For example, if you have a roommate who is slacking on chores, suggest creating a weekly schedule to ensure that everyone is responsible for specific tasks around the house.
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No matter the issue, there’s always a way to work around it. The best thing you can do is be a mature person and be respectful of the people around you. If things get out of hand and you need to escape the chaos, you’re more than welcome to come visit us at our office at 1341 Jackson Bluff Road.
Or, if you find yourself getting too overwhelmed by the situation, we recommend contacting your university or college’s counseling center. Florida State University offers complimentary counseling and psychological services (including one-to-one, couple, and group counseling) for all enrolled students. Otherwise, we wish you the best as you begin this new chapter of life!
Stressed about moving in? Read our blog about 8 Tips for a Smooth Move-In.
